From: John Matherly

Introduction

Before you dive into this book, ask yourself this question: do you really want to know?

You may think you do, but in reality you may not.

If you suspect your lover is cheating on you, it can stimulate a whole "crap house" full of unhealthy behavior and crazy thinking.

Talk this over with some trusted friends and get an outside opinion.

Next, I would not recommend using any of these tactics without getting the advice of a lawyer and a qualified psychological counselor.

Some of what I talk about here could be dangerous or even potentially illegal in your jurisdiction. You need to take full responsibility for your actions and research your laws.

Next – let’s have a little talk about "spying." In case you don’t know, whatever the laws are in your country, spying is just not cool. You don’t have the right to invade someone else’s privacy, whether it’s legal or not. Someone’s business is their business.

However, if you have someone who made a vow to you and your family and their behavior is erratic and indicating they are lying to you, is it wrong to invade their privacy and find out for sure?

If you’re right, you’ll quickly forgive yourself for any snooping – but what if you’re wrong?

It’s a tough question and you should think deeply about these things before you delve into this.

Further, some of the information you uncover could be psychologically damaging. Sometimes it’s better not to know what someone else is thinking. Especially when what people say is sometimes a gross exaggeration of what they actually feel. For example, someone may say in passing to a friend, "Yeah, that guy is a real asshole" when in actuality they don’t think that badly of you. Only in that moment did they have some harsh words to say about you. If you catch only that glimpse you may walk away with a lower opinion of yourself.

Think carefully before you walk down this path. If you don’t feel you can trust your lover, sometimes the best option is just to leave them without putting yourself through all this trouble. I have helped people with these methods and after discovering their lovers were cheating on them they stayed with them and lived a life of paranoia.

I helped a friend of mine in New Zealand catch his lover cheating on him and he realized at the end of it that he simply should have ended it before verifying his suspicions. His lover was a cruel and malicious person and he shouldn’t have needed the knowledge of cheating to leave.

You would be wise to consider that yourself now …

On the other hand, if you have children it may be worth it to patch things up through counseling and keep the family together for the sake of your children. Without the love of both parents children may not get the full benefit of early development. And then … it may be worse for the child to be around two parents who don’t love each other.

It’s not easy, is it? This is why I strongly advise you to seek professional advice.

With that said, the following methods are extremely effective at catching a cheating lover. I’m going to outline a combination of methods you can employ as you see fit. A combination of various methods is far more effective than any single one.

Remember that each method will only give you a small snippet of reality and you should be careful about jumping to conclusions before you have full evidence.

The patience required to put together a full body of evidence is Herculean. It’s probably the most difficult part of the process, especially when you have to keep your cool in the process.

 

Phase I – Preparation and Digging

Step 1. Cool Your Head

Read the Introduction to this guide again.

And now read it one more time.

Do you really want to go through with this?

If so, the first thing you need to do is remain calm. Resolve yourself to the fact that this process may take a little time and your heart is going to be ripped to pieces several times during the process whether you catch your lover cheating on you or not.

Make yourself a promise right now:

I will not take any of the information I find personally, no matter how insulting or heart-breaking. If they are cheating on me, it’s about them – not me. I am a good person and I determine my self-worth – no one else.

I will not jump to any conclusions until I have irrefutable evidence.

I will not act on any evidence I find until I have sought professional advice from the appropriate legal and psychological professionals.

At no point will I ever inflict any harm on anyone during this process – either physical or mental. I will conduct myself admirably and can take the inevitable emotional abuse that this process will inflict on me (no matter what I find).

Again, I will not harm anyone during this process – even if I find some of the most shocking and disturbing information… If I discover a crime, I will immediately take myself to safety report it to the appropriate authorities.

I will not take justice into my own hands.

I will think before I open my mouth.

I will think before I act.

I will walk away from this without having done anything I will later regret.

Is the above oath necessary? You bet it is. To give you this information without you first taking that oath would be grossly irresponsible.

Remember, if you harm someone in this process, you alone will be accountable for your actions. It’s better to endure a little pain now than to explain in front of a judge why you hurt someone. It’s better to hold your tongue now than to explain to someone you love later why you flew off the handle and said something you can never take back.

Get yourself under control right now.

Step 2. Warning Signs or Paranoia?

You wouldn’t be reading this if you were not already suspicious that your lover is cheating on you.

Sometimes what you think is a sign of infidelity is something harmless that you’re misinterpreting.

For example, in some cultures a little peck on the cheek is acceptable among platonic friends. Where I live in Miami almost everyone greets their friends of the opposite sex with a peck on the cheek. If someone did this in Texas it might be seen as a sign of amorous affection.

Take these things into consideration before you jump to conclusions.

Try to think of alternate explanations for what you are seeing as a sign of infidelity and consider it carefully.

It’s important now not to tip your hand and indicate to your lover that you are suspicious. If you do and they are in fact cheating on you, you just made it a lot harder to catch them.

Keep your suspicions to yourself and don’t alter your outward behavior in any way. This will make your lover feel relaxed and they’ll be more likely to slip up.

If you suspect something, ask oblique questions to gather more information, but do not interrogate your partner. That will cause them to shut down faster than anything else.

Here are some techniques for gathering information and detecting lies:

If someone says they were out at an event (say the gym or the movies or whatever) and you suspect they were with a lover, you have a great opportunity here to gather information.

When they say what they were doing, very casually and in a friendly tone ask for a detail they should know.

For example, if they say they were out to dinner very quickly and non-confrontationally ask, "Oh great! What did you have?"

Anyone who just had dinner should know the answer to that question pretty quickly without having to think too much.

If they hesitate, get defensive, avert their eyes downward, get angry, or try to gloss over the details, then you may very well caught them in a lie.

This isn’t foolproof, but it’s a pretty good indicator. If you get any of these warning signs, be sure not to show any signs of suspicion. Just note in mentally and move on as if nothing happened.

Getting warning signs like this several times in a row is a pretty good indicator of some hidden behavior. However, you should always combine this with other methods and even perhaps some judicious use of the "weapons" I’ll teach you about below.

Agitation and defensiveness is probably one of the best indicators around. The truth never needs to be defended, so if someone is angrily defensive when you ask them casually about a minor detail you may have good cause for suspicion.

Other signs of dishonesty might be: tension in the face (especially furrowing of the brow), swallowing, averting the eyes, sudden distress when asked certain questions, fidgeting, glossing over of details (especially in women who tend to be meticulous with details when telling stories about what they did – men are likely to gloss over details habitually even when telling the truth), and sudden outbursts of anger.

Ultimately, the devil is in the details. Even good liars can sometimes get themselves caught up in the details. If their version of the story keeps changing it’s a good indication of dishonesty. But then again, there could be a good explanation for it, too so just be careful.

If you want to get really good at catching a liar, be sure to study the Facial Action Coding System. It’s a rather elaborate and scientific system that helps you to interpret the meaning of facial expressions and can be quite effective at catching a liar.

Just remember to always keep your cool as you make your observations.

If your partner begins to exhibit a sudden change in routine or behavior it could be an indicator of "something else" going on in their life. That something else could be cheating – it could be something else entirely.

Dig a bit before you jump to conclusions. Using the Detail Digging technique can reveal more. Just remember to remain a passive observer.

Some indicators that may be stronger than others: a sudden change in musical tastes, a tendency to dress up more when they go out without you, forgetting to do the little things that you love …

Everyone knows that sex can leave behind many clues and one of them is odor. Knowing this, a cheating partner will almost always be freshly showered when they return from a rendezvous with their lover. If it’s the end of the day and your lover returns home freshly showered, do some Detail Digging to find out if they were involved in any activity that may have warranted a shower (a visit to the sauna or the gym, for example).

Whatever you do, don’t point out to them your observation. The stupidest thing to say is, "You’re showered … Why?!"

Keep your cool.

If your lover is suddenly acting cruelly, coldly, or dismissive to you, this may be a good indication of something going on. Of course, they could just be having a bad day or month.

As a lover gets more attached to their secret lover, they will tend to lose attachment to you.

Hey, if they are falling out of love, that might be "grounds for dismissal" in any case, so give that a thought. Remember, it might be better to just let them go if it’s not working out, regardless of what else is going on.

Believe me, it will be better to end the relationship without knowing. If you’re planning on sticking it out no matter what, then knowing is essential for your sanity (not knowing someone is cheating on you while it’s happening can really screw up your head), but if you’re getting out anyway, just get it over with and get on with your life.

"I break up just like I take off a band-aid. I strip it right off!"

Jerry Seinfeld

If the sex drive of your partner suddenly drops, that may be a good indicator. Of course, it may not as well. They could just be over-worked or they could be going through some other trouble.

However, if they seem otherwise healthy and happy and they suddenly stop wanting sex (especially if the suspect is a man), then you may have cause for concern.

Again, just keep your eyes open and look for other indicators. Try to initiate sex more and see how they respond. Try not to get agitated if they turn you down. Act like you’re not noticing and dig deeper.

If your home phone rings often and someone hangs up when you answer …

If your lover gets text messages from time to time without saying who it was from and seems to want to hide them from you …

If your lover is one the phone and tries to stay out of earshot so you can’t hear what’s being said …

These can all be indicators of your lover trying to hide something. Again, it could also mean nothing, so don’t get too paranoid.

Just take notes, Detail Dig, and keep looking calmly and coolly.

People who cyber-cheat or are involved in communicating with their lovers online will often switch off their monitors or close their browser windows quickly when you walk in the room.

Of course they could just be doing something otherwise embarrassing, so don’t freak out and start hurling accusations, slick.

Keep your cool, Detail Dig, takes note and keep your eyes open.

Often infidelity leaves a paper trail. Check credit card statements and phone records for strange activity. If the suspect isn’t very smart, they should be very easy to catch this way. You’d be surprised how many people charge a hotel room to a credit card without thinking of the consequence.

Step 3. Escalate or Escape?

After looking at all of the above warning signs and using the above tests, unless you’ve uncovered some really good evidence it may just come down to trusting your gut.

It is very possible that the above methods will reveal the truth without digging deeper, but if you want hard evidence that can be used in a divorce court, you may need to use some of the more intensive "weapons" listed in the next section.

Again, it may just come down to your gut and it’s probably a better judge than you may realize. Malcolm Gladwell in his book "Blink" shows us how sometimes our gut instincts are better than our conscious minds at making decisions. This is because our conscious minds are only tapping into a tiny fraction of our total brain power. It is very possible that after looking at all the evidence your "gut" may have processed all the information more efficiently than you have. The translation of this could result in a "gut feeling." Don’t ignore that.

So, if either through logic or gut instinct you’ve determined that there is probably some cheating going on and you want to dig deeper, then the following weapons will give you some near fool-proof ways of finding out.

However, ask yourself again – do you really want to know? If the relationship is over regardless, now might be another good time to just let things go.

Remember, keep your cool. Never let on that you suspect anything. Never let your anger lead to violence or outbursts – that will only come back to hurt you later on.

Phase II – Hard Evidence

If you haven’t read all of my warnings in the Introduction and Phase I, please go back and do so now. The following tools are downright dangerous if used improperly, so if you’re not confident about what you’re doing think twice.

Further, it may be illegal in certain jurisdictions to use these tools in the way I’m suggesting here, so you should check with a lawyer before proceeding.

Step 1. Check Yourself Again

Go through the Introduction and Phase I again. Do you really want or need to do this? If no, stop now. You’re about to enter a world where you will see things you may wish you had never seen.

This is some pretty dangerous and serious stuff that is not to be taken lightly or used frivolously.  For years Mark has kept this information to himself, but as infidelity is higher now than it ever has been in history, he felt people should know ...

• Did you know that there is a relatively common household item you can use that can, beyond the shadow of a doubt if used properly at the right time, tell if your spouse has been cheating?  Then I'll show you how to document that proof into hard legal evidence.
   

• There are ways of tracking the whereabouts of your spouse - every minute of the day - that are more effective than private detectives and are available for a mere fraction of the cost.
   

• There are thousands of computer "spy tools" being sold today and the vast majority of them not only do not work, but can put you in great danger.  Find out which ones work and are virtually undetectable by even the most sophisticated security experts.
   

• Have you ever suspected someone of lying?  There are several common ways that liars reveal themselves that are virtually uncontrollable except by the most hardened sociopaths.  Use these techniques to detect if your spouse is lying - then use my foolproof tactic to set them up and let them prove right before your very eyes whether or not they were telling the truth.  This tactic is almost fool-proof if you can keep your cool long enough.
   

• Knowledge of these tactics is not enough - if you don't know how to use them in the right way, not only will you blow your chances of peace of mind, but you could put yourself into physical and financial danger.   These tactics are serious and not to be trifled with.  I'll show you the right (and the wrong) way to use this information.

All of this information and much more can be found in Mark's instantly downloadable PDF report: How to Catch a Cheating Lover.  You're moments away from reading that report right now.

Now, ask yourself this - how much will the peace of mind you get from using these methods be worth to you?

Did you know that with your mind occupied on suspicion and paranoia, you are only operating at a tiny fraction of your full capacity.

Resolving his problem in your mind could have huge benefits in your mental and physical health.  It is very possible that you are not living up to your full potential right now because of your suspicions.

Don't you think it's time to put your mind at ease?

After you complete your order, if you are not satisfied for any reason, you are entitled to a 100% full refund.   Simply tell us you are not satisfied any time within the next 60 days and we will give you a prompt and courteous refund within one business day - no questions asked.

Now, how much would you pay for this kind of peace of mind?

Do you think it would be worth $5,000 to finally have your life back and to end the mental torture you're now going through?

You'll pay far less than that, though.

I can personally promise you that the information in this report will allow you to catch any cheating lover in a very short period of time.  If not, I'll be happy to refund all of your money - no questions asked.

 

Yours sincerely,

John Matherly